Well, I only managed to correctly pick 5 out of the 9 fights, but it turns out I did about as good a job as the bookies, so I don’t feel too bad.
As mentioned, I got to take my first trip to Hooters. I had a sandwich that was labeled “Probably Iowa beef” which I should have taken as a warning, and it was disgusting. Maybe the menu should read, “probably meat.” They were showing fight on plenty of TVs and you could kind of hear the play-by-play over the crowd, but as usual it’s the people that let you down. Our waitress seemed like a nice kid, but she was really dumb. Like criminally dumb. Like I expected her to set down our drinks upside down dumb.
There was an idiot sitting in our line of sight (sporting some very prominent man-boobs) that seemed really upset that people would root for Anderson Silva against Rich Franklin. When Rich came out he yelled, “Amurica! Whooooo!” and when Silva came out (to much applause from the local crowd) he booed. When the crowd quieted I said loudly, “Don’t boo until after he gets done kicking Rich’s ass.” Sadly, I don’t think he heard me.
Speaking of which, Silva completely destroyed Franklin. At the end when he had him up against the cage, Silva was mixing kicks, knees and punches in one of the most devastating displays of punishment I’ve ever seen. It looked like he was dismantling a toy or something. Hopefully Franklin will go back to teaching or something, because he’s just not in the same league as Silva. For fun, here’s a clip of Silva knocking out Tony Fryklund with a standing elbow. Ouch.
It was also a bad night for Franklin’s Jiu-Jistu coach, Jorge Gurgel, who spent two rounds on the ground eating leather. I’m gonna suggest that Rich get back any money he paid this guy until Gurgel can prove he knows what a closed guard is.
Brandon “The Truth” Vera let me down with his 3 round dirty dancing session with Tim Sylvia. Vera’s kicks looked great, but he didn’t seem like he had a game-plan for handling Sylvia’s reach advantage other than to hug him for 15 minutes. Evidently the truth is dull.
Stephan Bonnar proved that steroid abusers can have cardio too, surviving a rear naked choke attempt to make it into the second round where he bea the crap out of Eric Shafer on the ground.
Speaking of steroid abusers, former professional “wrestler” Brock Lesnar was on the PPV to announce that he’d signed with the UFC. For those of you who don’t watch grown men play dress up to act out childish melodramas, take a look at this awesome picture of Brock. That’s one unfortunate penis-looking tattoo between his boobs. And it’s also good evidence of why steroid use should come with a lifetime ban from all sporting events. Even if that gorilla stops filling his veins with human growth hormone today, do you think that extra hundred pounds of muscle might give him an unfair advantage in the future?
Anyway, it was a pretty good night of fights - what did everyone else think?
My favorite Habs fan and I are heading out for my first trip to a Hooters to check out the fight in an hour or so, so I guess I should make my picks for the fight official. Without further ado, my quick, lousy, uninformed picks, this time in a sentence or less:
Rich Franklin vs. Anderson Silva
Dana White has taken the unusual step of requiring Rich Franklin to have an ordained catholic priest in his corner in order to perform last rights in the second round: Anderson Silva by heart stoppage.
Tim Sylvia vs. Brandon Vera
Brandon Vera’s only chance of getting hurt in this fight is if he twists his ankle doing his sumo-inspired surfer victory dance after finishing Tim Sylvia in the third.
Kalib Starnes vs. Alan Belcher
Kalib Starnes (a Canuck, I think) was so annoying on The Ultimate Fighter that I’m sure he’ll have Alan Belcher tapping out before the referee introductions are finished.
Eric Schafer vs. Stephan Bonnar
Stephan Bonnar is probably off the steroids this fight, but I’m sure he didn’t lose the muscle: Eric Shafer sees stars in the second.
Yushin Okami vs. Jason MacDonald
In a boring fight for what may be the number one contender slot in the Middleweight division that will mercifully remain unshown, Yushin Okami outlasts Jason (Canuck!) MacDonald for the decision.
Josh Burkman vs. Forrest Petz
Burkman wins beats Petz because somebody cared enough to give him a Wikipedia entry.
Jason Black vs. Matt Grice
Ditto for Black beating Grice.
Demian Maia vs. Ryan Jensen
This time the more talented but as-of-yet un-Wikipedia’d Brazillian Maia beats Ryan Jensen.
Alvin Robinson vs. Jorge Gurgel
And we stick with the Brazillian to round out the fight: Gurgel beats Robinson by submission.
