The AP is reporting that Larry Craig will announce his resignation from the Senate this morning. While I think all republicans ought to step down on general principle for the way they’ve screwed this country up, this is terrible news. I, for one, would like to see an openly gay man in the Senate, even if it’s a republican.
I guess he must have taken the advice of Patrick Sammon, president of the Log Cabin Republicans, who says that Craig may not be able to continue serving in the Senate effectively. And I guess if Craig is looking for advice, that’s a good source. I don’t know anyone more in touch with what it’s like to be a self-loathing queen than the president of an organization dedicated to his own repression and discrimination.
Still, I’d rather that Craig stay in the Senate and come out of the closet. We might have to assign somebody to follow him into the bathroom to keep him out of trouble, but it’d be nice watching his fellow republicans squirm.
I was listening to the taped interview with Larry Craig after his arrest for trying to get it on with Sgt. Dave Karsnia of the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport Police Department, and a few of his comments seemed out of place:
OFFICER: I’m not going to bring you to jail.
CRAIG: You solicited me.
Also:
CRAIG: I don’t, ah, I am not gay, I don’t do these kinds of things and…
OFFICER: It doesn’t matter. I don’t care about sexual preference or anything like that. Here’s your stuff back sir. Um, I don’t care about sexual preference.
CRAIG: I know you don’t. You’re out to enforce the law.
OFFICER: Right.
CRAIG: But you shouldn’t be out to entrap people either.
What this reminds me of, is the story of the man who borrowed a piece of crockery (plate, platter, kettle, something like that) from his neighbor. When he brought it back, it was broken, so his neighbor confronts him. His defense is:
This sounds a lot like what Larry is saying:
Does that make any more sense? If he didn’t do anything, what was he entrapped into doing? What was he solicited for, if he didn’t do anything?
Another statement that bothered me was this one in which he tells us why he can’t be gay:
“I wasn’t eager to share this failure, but I should have anyway, because I am not gay. I love my wife, my family. I care about friends and staff and Idaho. I love serving this great state.”
And I guess, when he puts it that way, he really can’t be gay. I mean, he loves his family - we all know that gays could never love their family! And loving his state? That clinches it!
I’d also like to point out some of the text of the “petition to enter plea of guilty - misdemeanor” that he signed:
4. I understand that the court will not accept a plea of guilty from anyone who claims to be innocent.
5. I now make no claim that I am innocent of the charge to which I am entering a plea of guilty.
Not a lot of wiggle room there. And yet he states:
“While I was not involved in any inappropriate conduct at the Minneapolis airport or anywhere else, I chose to plead guilty to a lesser charge in hopes of making it go away.”
So is there a way that any of this could make sense?
Dear Republican Politicians,
Since it seems that each and every one of you have a secret gay sex life, don’t you think it might be time to come out of the closet? I mean, I don’t care if you want to stay in the closet, I really don’t, though I find your hypocritical voting records troubling, but think of what a life as an openly gay politician would mean. No more hiding out in public restrooms, no more embarrassing press conferences, no more sneaking around trying to think of people to blame for your arrests.
The thing about all of this is that eventually, everyone will find out what you’re up to (I’m looking at you, Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham) because you keep having sex with people! Those people aren’t going to watch you vote against gay rights year after year without speaking up. So why not just come out and defuse the whole situation? You know, stay ahead of the situation.
And just imagine what a relief it will be when you can stop this whole self-loathing thing! You can stop supporting those beards you’ve been paying for, you can meet somebody who shares your interests in lowering the capital gains tax and flower arranging, and best of all you can listen to a much better class of dance music! I mean, aren’t you tired of pretending you like line dancing when you could be at one of DC’s many gay clubs? I’m sure the selection in Idaho is limited, but after a long day on the senate floor disenfranchising minorities and restricting civil liberties, you can take your pick of clubs to do some poppers and mingle with cute guys hungry for a sugar daddy.
Just promise me you’ll think it over.
Your constituent,
Jemal Cole