I have just learned the most awesome technique for geeks to attract women, and it’s too late for me to use it. Why, you ask? Happily married, that’s why. But the rest of you need this advice.
I was reading Make:Blog and they posted a link to a forum post explaining how to make a laptop bag from an 80’s boom box. Now this is already cool. I mean, a wicked bag like that is its own reward. But take a look at that link carfully: Craftster.org. He posted his geeky bag tutorial on a forum populated almost entirely by women. Women who fetishize hand-made objects. Women who like bags (yeah, I know that’s redundant). Women who began professing their love for him on the first page of responses.
So here’s my advice: subscribe to Make and start making crafts. The ladies will love you.
Joe Clark (previously mentioned) is having some trouble with fans of the Opera Web Browser. Normally when people are getting a web-style curb stomping, I like to post a little something in their defense.
And in Joe’s case, I have all the reason in the world to say a few words of support. He wrote the book on web accessibility. He’s funny, quirky, and uses the kind of cutesy language (”shurely”, “natch”) that is only bearable in very good writing. And his writing is very good.
But at the moment, I’m of the opinion that Joe’s a bit of an asshat.
Joe likes to sound smart. If given the choice between any two things, I get the feeling that he’d take the one with more syllables. And I certainly don’t have a problem with that. But it’s led him to his favorite word to throw at geeks: “Aspergerian.”
Not that he only likes to compare geeks to sufferers of a life-long tragic neurological condition that can destroy families. No, he tosses it around to describe a number of people.
(And let’s remember the way that insults work: you compare somebody to something you think is negative. For instance, when Jon Stewart says, “You’re such a Jew.” we know that it’s not an insult because he’s Jewish. When my coworker thinks somebody is being an asshole and says, “don’t be such a jew,” we know that a) he doesn’t like the way that person is behaving, and b) he doesn’t like jews. Pretty basic, right?)
Let’s take a look at some examples of how Joe uses the word:
On the other hand, I don’t have alpha geeks’ tics; asocial facial expressions, particularly the combo of downturned face, upturned eyes, and Aspergerian smirk; inappropriate whooping laughter [“Always reminds me of somebody machine-gunning a seal”]; and inability to dress other than for warmth. They get more done, but I’m better-rounded.
(Beavering)
So alpha geeks have an Aspergerian smirk? What does that mean? Seems like an insult in that context.
It just goes to show that Internet usage is so widespread even in dullsville Toronto that independent sects will pop up, even if they’re filled out with gormless Web-developer girls. (You can always tell by the bad hair, the glasses, and the quasi-Aspergerian look in the eyes.)
(September 2003 ‘Volt’ Show Reviews)
That’s definitely an insult, right? No question there.
…computer experts are rarely worth looking at for more then five seconds at a time; we are quasi-Aspergerian and have poor fashion sense, with unusual exceptions.
(You can use captioning or you can use Heath)
Inconclusive - but definitely negative. Note that just because he includes himself (as a computer expert) it doesn’t mean that he’s not using it as insult. (”I was such a retard today!”)
Possibly a fair point, though admittedly rather minor, but I’ve
found that critics of my book have quasi-Aspergerian capacities to
expand inconsequential issues into blanket condemnations. It’s a
feature I recognize in myself, of course.
(Re: Joe Clark book review from pcpro)
Qualified by the quasi-, but still an insult.
However: If, every time I dare to question Operatic orthodoxy, I get a fusillade of name-calling and character defamation from borderline Aspergerians who wouldn’t know a salad fork from a browser tab, then I’m just not gonna talk about Opera.
(How very hard indeed it is to defend Opera)
Some of these other uses might be an attempt to use the clinical definition to provide a (mean but) fair comparison, but this is just Joe venting. There’s no call for tossing Asperger’s into that paragraph.
There are enough borderline Aspergerians and autistics shuffling through the halls in Austin avoiding eye contact with other carbon-based lifeforms…
(fuck the SXSW etiquette guide)
Well, at least we’ve got equal time for autism sufferers as well!
I would be too Aspergerian to wear a ring – I’d sit there and worry it all day – but it symbolizes what I did not do.
(Engineers)
I’m thinking he might have been meaning to pick on OCD victims here and just typed “Aspergerian” out of habit.
Starting to see why Matt Welch told Joe, “you sound about as fun as eye surgery“? I know I am!
At this point, I’m sure that you’re all saying, “Jemal - isn’t this the sort of thing you should bring up to somebody privately before you just insult them online?” Which, of course, I did. Joe denies that he’s insulting Aspergerians when he compares other people to them. I don’t buy it.
Seeing terms like this getting tossed around as insults bothers me. Of course, part of the reason is that I have a son who I wish had Asperger’s instead of autism. But I don’t like when kids use “gay” to mean “stupid” and I don’t have any reason to think that Jared is gay. I don’t like when people use “kike” to mean “cheap” and my wife isn’t Jewish. And I greatly prefer “Let’s get it started” to “Let’s get retarded” and nobody in my house is retarded.
But then, Joe always admits when he’s wrong, right?
Let’s finish with one last quote from Joe:
You are deliberately hurting me, people, and you’re doing all this over software that can be repaired, unlike my feelings.
Good thing that nobody but Joe has feelings - least of all Aspergerians.