Here’s what was waiting for me in my feed reader this morning:

1. The Sun mocks Tito, Jenna and the little tike
2. The Sun mocks Tito, Jenna and the little one
3. Shamrock says brother beat Kimbo
4. Rogers shreds Shamrock and calls Kimbo the ‘Black Yeti’
5. Shamrock says brother beat Kimbo
6. Shamrock says brother beats Kimbo
7. Rogers calls out Kimbo, shreds Shamrock

I don’t know if this is a Google Reader problem or a Yahoo! problem, but none of my other feeds do this, so I’m presuming Yahoo! still has some work to do.

Following up on? my post? ? about how not making weight may have been a good move for Gina Carano, I have some questions about the kind of reasoning Kaitlin Young had to do.?

There’s been a lot of talk about how “the fix was in” for some of the fights at EliteXC Primetime. But what if it made more sense for a fighter to lose than to win? I don’t have any evidence, there’s no reason to suspect that anyone threw a fight, and until the payouts are released this is just idle speculation, but it’s an interesting thought exercise.

Stated simply: what if the 12.5% that Young got from losing to Carano was more than her win bonus?

The information about the deal that was worked out has been very vague, but it sounds like Young was to receive her base pay, her win bonus if applicable, and 12.5% of whatever Carano made. What we don’t know is if that percentage was of her fight pay, her win pay, or her combined pay, and this makes a huge difference. The way it was reported certainly sounded like the primary factor was Carano’s combined pay. We can safely assume that Carano is making more than Young, but how much is up in the air. But there’s a good chance that it was significant. Let’s try some math:?

If Young was paid $10K to fight and $10K to lose, and Carano? was paid $100K to fight and $100K to win, winning the fight would get Young $32.5K: $10K + $10K + $12.5. Losing would get her $35K: $10K + $25K. Now I obviously made those numbers up, but for a first time fighter and a headliner, that doesn’t sound too unreasonable. In fact, it might be a bit conservative.

But let’s play with the numbers: If Young were paid $4K/$4K – a reasonable amount – and Gina still made $100K/$100K, winning would get Kaitlin $20.5K, while losing would get her $33K. If Gina made $50K/$50K, the difference between winning and losing is $14.25K/$18.5K.?

Obviously, it’s all more complicated than this. Winning has other consequences than just a bonus: more and better sponsors, higher pay for the next fight, and even a long-term contract are all worth something. But that all depends on how risk averse Young is. Would it be better to make an additional few thousand and risk tanking her career? Who can say?

This is of course not an attempt to say that Young threw the fight: she was clearly fighting very hard, and she doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would be motivated to risk her career for a few extra dollars. But there are fighters who have more bills and less scruples than her, and this kind of arrangement (large difference in fighter pay, penalties? assessed? as a percentage) is clearly a moral quagmire waiting to happen.

Organizations need to come up with a different way of arranging for these penalties, before this kind of problem becomes an issue. But again: this is all speculation. What do you think?

Originally posted on? Bloody Elbow.? Comments closed here.

I think a lot of people are missing something in the Gina Carano weigh-in scandal. Yes, she failed to make weight, but she also failed to try to make weight. 3.5 pounds (or 3 pounds depending on if the clothing rule is true) is a lot to lose at that weight (and yes, weight is a more difficult thing to manage for women in general – not being sexist, just being realistic), but she probably could have done it. Since she had the deal in place to trade those 3.5 pounds for an eighth of her purse even before she went to the weigh-in, she had time where she could have been cutting weight that she instead spent cutting a deal.

I’m guessing that the thinking went something like this: Carano could attempt the cut and end up weakened in mind and body which would mean risking her win bonus – and therefore a full half of her pay. ? Or she could save herself a miserable cut and just get to where she could on the scale but come in as fresh and strong as possible, all for an eighth of her pay. That means making 75% more than if she lost the fight.

And I’d call that a pretty savvy deal.

Yes, you can argue that it would be better for her to have made weight. But was that a realistic option? Should she have spent the limited training time she had focusing on sharpening up her striking and jiu-jitsu, or going on a crash diet? Now that we know the pressure she was under in having to agree to take this fight in order to keep her job with NBC, and recognizing that we don’t know everything else going on in her personal life that might have been affecting her weight, it’s easy to see that while the choice she made wasn’t ideal, it may have been the smartest economic move available to her.

Originally posted on Bloody Elbow. Comments closed here.

We live in what people like to call an information age. Every day we are bombarded with so much new information that we can’t help but learn new things. And with this new information, one might think that we’re all getting more informed.

But it turns out that ignorance is a constant. Every time some new set of facts destroys an old bastion of ignorance, the explosion flings ignorance in every direction so that people can start saying new stupid things.

Case in point: UFC 82: Pride of a Champion this past Saturday night. Anderson Silva, the reigning UFC middleweight champ defended his title against the former (because the promotion died) Pride welterweight (middleweight: 183 lb.) and middleweight (light heavyweight: 205 lb.) champ Dan Henderson. Even though Silva was much bigger, a much better striker, and a more accomplished submission grappler, fans of the Pride Fighting Championships picked Henderson to win, and claimed all over the internet that his two appearances on the Olympic wrestling team and his two Pride belts meant that he was going to walk over Silva.

And while that doesn’t seem terribly outrageous to an outsider, it makes absolutely no sense in mixed martial arts (MMA). Let’s break down why, and bust up some pockets of ignorance:Greco-Roman Wrestling is an amazing sport, and many of the techniques used by wrestlers are directly applicable to MMA: takedowns, takedown defense and grappling are three of the most important skills an MMA fighter needs. And when it comes to takedowns, very few people can stand very long with Dan Henderson. But the problem is that wrestling isn’t a combat sport. While there are a lot of combat elements, and while wrestlers are definitely tough people, the point of the sport is not to injure or submit an opponent. Wrestlers are playing for points or position. There are no striking or submission techniques taught in wrestling.

That’s not to say that there aren’t a lot of successful wrestlers in MMA. In fact, it’s just the opposite. But the wrestlers who make it to the top of the sport do so because they cross-trained with some kind of striking (Muay Thai, boxing) or submission grappling (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ), Judo) techniques. The wrestlers who don’t are the kind of boring fighters you see far too much of: taking their opponents down time after time without damaging them. Sean Sherk is a prime example. Matt Hughes on the other hand has trained heavily in BJJ and is an exciting fighter with good ground and pound and better submission skills. But while Hughes makes good use of his wrestling in MMA, it’s in a supporting role to his submission and striking game. The takedown sets up the submission, but the takedown isn’t the submission.

Thus, Henderson’s Olympic-caliber wrestling gave him an opportunity to set up his other skills, but Henderson isn’t a great Jiu-Jitsu fighter, nor is he a great striker. People make a big deal out of his “unorthodox striking,” but what they really mean is that he’s awkward and slow with his punches, has poor boxing defense and gets by on strength and a good chin.

As for his Pride belts, that’s a bit of a story. The now-defunct Pride Fighting Championships was home to many of the top-ranked fighters in MMA. but it’s now been established that the Yakuza – the Japanese Mafia – were a joint owner of the promotion, and that at least one fighter was asked to take a fall. That’s not a huge scandal in professional sports, but it makes it impossible to know how many other fights may have been rigged. What we do know is that Pride never tested its fighters for drugs or steroids (except two shows in Las Vegas), and that many of their superstars have failed to perform once coming to the UFC with its more rigorous testing.

In addition, it has been widely recognized that the referees and judges at Pride events were prone to both nationalism and racism in their judging. A gaijin competing against a Japanese fighter needed to win by knockout or submission, because decisions most often went to the hometown fighters.

With all of that in mind, it’s hard to put any stock in the record of any particular Pride fighter. Anderson Silva went 3-2 in Pride, but hasn’t gone past the second round in his last 6 fights in the UFC winning decisively by knockout or submission each time. Quinton Jackson was 12-4 in Pride and lost twice to Wanderlei Silva when fighting for the Pride middleweight (205 lb.) championship. Wanderlei lost in both of his fights in America with drug testing, once to the smaller Henderson, and once to Chuck Liddell, the former UFC champion who lost decisively to Jackson. The performance of Pride fighters coming to the U.S. has been poor overall, but the unevenness in their performance is the most telling factor: obviously there were things affecting who won and lost in Pride that aren’t factors in the UFC. With the success of Silva, Jackson and Antonio Rodrigo “Minotauro” Nogueira, there were obviously great fighters in Pride, but something was fishy.

This is not to suggest that Henderson is a cheater or a steroid user. It just makes it impossible to know for certain why he was winning, or why other fighters he faced won or lost.

But the end result of all of this is that Silva defeated Henderson in the second round by rear naked choke. He looked much better on the feet, avoided any real damage when on the bottom during the first round, landed devastating blows in the second round, and exposed exactly how bad Henderson’s submission defense was while working for the choke. In short, he completely dominated Henderson.

So with all of that information out in the open, MMA fans will be prepared the next time a former Pride fighter or an accomplished but not well-rounded wrestler shows up in the UFC, right? Well, maybe. But there are already new stupid things going around:

• Wanderlei Silva should drop down to 185 and fight Anderson Silva for the middleweight belt. This is stupid for a number of reasons, but the most important is that Wanderlei and Anderson are still good friends after training together at the Chute Box Academy. While friends often meet in MMA competitions, its very rare for a fighter to challenge a friend for a title shot. (Quinton Jackson’s friendship with Tito Ortiz is one of the reasons he stayed out of the UFC for so long.)
• While Silva’s win solidified him as the best pound-for-pound fighter in MMA in the minds of many fans, there are now all sorts of discussions going around about who is the best, each with its own share of ignorance.
  • Some are claiming that Georges St. Pierre is the best, even though he held the welterweight division’s title for exactly one fight before being knocked out by a washed-up lightweight BJJ fighter who he dwarfed in height and reach. I’ve heard St. Pierre’s striking and wrestling described as “world class” or “best in MMA,” but in truth his striking is simplistic, and he’s not a trained wrestler. St. Pierre is a phenomenal athlete, and has the potential to become the best, but he has a lot of work (and growing up) to do.
  • Some are claiming that heavyweight Fedor Emelianenko is even better, though his last 3 years of opponents consist of 6 wins – only one of which included drug testing – against:
    • a pituitary giant with 1 previous fight on his record
    • a middleweight
    • a 300 lb. kick-boxer
    • an over-the-hill steroid abuser more than 6 years past his prime
    • a 400 lb. bouncer
    • a true light heavyweight who has been chased out of the UFC by second-rate fighters
• People are excited about the announcement that has-been and noted steroid aficionado Mark Coleman will be returning to the UFC to face never-was and noted steroid aficionado Brock Lesnar. Coleman is the person I labeled as 6 years past his prime for a fight a year and a half ago. Coleman certainly has more experience, skill and technique than Lesnar, but that’s damning with faint praise.

I’m doing the best I can to correct these issues, but it’d be great if everyone could just spend a few minutes each day figuring out what he or she is ignorant of so that the rest of us wouldn’t have to waste time telling them. Thanks.

Well, I only managed to correctly pick 5 out of the 9 fights, but it turns out I did about as good a job as the bookies, so I don’t feel too bad.

As mentioned, I got to take my first trip to Hooters. I had a sandwich that was labeled “Probably Iowa beef” which I should have taken as a warning, and it was disgusting. Maybe the menu should read, “probably meat.” They were showing fight on plenty of TVs and you could kind of hear the play-by-play over the crowd, but as usual it’s the people that let you down. Our waitress seemed like a nice kid, but she was really dumb. Like criminally dumb. Like I expected her to set down our drinks upside down dumb.

There was an idiot sitting in our line of sight (sporting some very prominent man-boobs) that seemed really upset that people would root for Anderson Silva against Rich Franklin. When Rich came out he yelled, “Amurica! Whooooo!” and when Silva came out (to much applause from the local crowd) he booed. When the crowd quieted I said loudly, “Don’t boo until after he gets done kicking Rich’s ass.” Sadly, I don’t think he heard me.

Speaking of which, Silva completely destroyed Franklin. At the end when he had him up against the cage, Silva was mixing kicks, knees and punches in one of the most devastating displays of punishment I’ve ever seen. It looked like he was dismantling a toy or something. Hopefully Franklin will go back to teaching or something, because he’s just not in the same league as Silva. For fun, here’s a clip of Silva knocking out Tony Fryklund with a standing elbow. Ouch.

It was also a bad night for Franklin’s Jiu-Jistu coach, Jorge Gurgel, who spent two rounds on the ground eating leather. I’m gonna suggest that Rich get back any money he paid this guy until Gurgel can prove he knows what a closed guard is.

Brandon “The Truth” Vera let me down with his 3 round dirty dancing session with Tim Sylvia. Vera’s kicks looked great, but he didn’t seem like he had a game-plan for handling Sylvia’s reach advantage other than to hug him for 15 minutes. Evidently the truth is dull.

Stephan Bonnar proved that steroid abusers can have cardio too, surviving a rear naked choke attempt to make it into the second round where he bea the crap out of Eric Shafer on the ground.

Speaking of steroid abusers, former professional “wrestler” Brock Lesnar was on the PPV to announce that he’d signed with the UFC. For those of you who don’t watch grown men play dress up to act out childish melodramas, take a look at this awesome picture of Brock. That’s one unfortunate penis-looking tattoo between his boobs. And it’s also good evidence of why steroid use should come with a lifetime ban from all sporting events. Even if that gorilla stops filling his veins with human growth hormone today, do you think that extra hundred pounds of muscle might give him an unfair advantage in the future?

Anyway, it was a pretty good night of fights – what did everyone else think?

My favorite Habs fan and I are heading out for my first trip to a Hooters to check out the fight in an hour or so, so I guess I should make my picks for the fight official. Without further ado, my quick, lousy, uninformed picks, this time in a sentence or less:

Rich Franklin vs. Anderson Silva

Dana White has taken the unusual step of requiring Rich Franklin to have an ordained catholic priest in his corner in order to perform last rights in the second round: Anderson Silva by heart stoppage.

Tim Sylvia vs. Brandon Vera

Brandon Vera’s only chance of getting hurt in this fight is if he twists his ankle doing his sumo-inspired surfer victory dance after finishing Tim Sylvia in the third.

Kalib Starnes vs. Alan Belcher

Kalib Starnes (a Canuck, I think) was so annoying on The Ultimate Fighter that I’m sure he’ll have Alan Belcher tapping out before the referee introductions are finished.

Eric Schafer vs. Stephan Bonnar

Stephan Bonnar is probably off the steroids this fight, but I’m sure he didn’t lose the muscle: Eric Shafer sees stars in the second.

Yushin Okami vs. Jason MacDonald

In a boring fight for what may be the number one contender slot in the Middleweight division that will mercifully remain unshown, Yushin Okami outlasts Jason (Canuck!) MacDonald for the decision.

Josh Burkman vs. Forrest Petz

Burkman wins beats Petz because somebody cared enough to give him a Wikipedia entry.

Jason Black vs. Matt Grice

Ditto for? Black beating Grice.

Demian Maia vs. Ryan Jensen

This time the more talented but as-of-yet un-Wikipedia’d Brazillian Maia beats Ryan Jensen.

Alvin Robinson vs. Jorge Gurgel

And we stick with the Brazillian to round out the fight: Gurgel beats Robinson by submission.

The MMA news is reporting that because Randy “The Natural” Couture can’t have the fight he wants with Fedor Emelianenko in the UFC, he’s not going to fight anyone. Expect future reports indicating that he sucks his thumb, wears diapers, and would like some Wonder Pets DVDs for Christmas.

On this past week’s episode of Human Weapon, the guys did some training in MMA. Jason actually managed to win his fight (against some nobody in the IFL) and Bill held his own against Ricco Rodriguez. The part that stuck in my mind was when they introduced one of their trainers, saying something like, “Many have described him as one of the toughest fighters in the world: Forest Griffin.”

And if I hadn’t seen Forest getting his hand raised after choking out one of the greatest fighters in the world with a cut in his forehead that lets you see into his skull, I would have laughed. Nice job scheduling that episode, History Channel. Well played.

It’s a good thing I didn’t get around to posting any picks for this event because I was wrong about every single fight on the main card. After the first three fights, I turned to my buddy and said, “I feel bad for Shogun Rua and Chuck Liddel.”? And lo, their asses were kicked.

Forest Griffin impressed with his first big win over a top contender, and Keith Jardine proved what everyone has been saying since the Rampage fight: Chuck is a good kick-boxer who can eat whatever wrestler Dana White spoon-feeds him alive, but he doesn’t like getting punched in the face, and his odd (to be kind) fighting style is easily picked apart by anyone with a technical striking game. Evolve or retire Chuck, for your own good. I mean, aren’t you glad that he found this out before Wanderlai Silva had a chance to make him each knees for 15 minutes?

The one thing I think I can add to the internet clamor about the fights is that I wasn’t really impressed by John Fitch or Tyson Griffin. They won their fights, by the traditional measures, but mostly they just seemed to stay out of trouble without working to finish the fight. Griffin’s fight was great to watch, but mostly because of the BJJ clinic that Thiago Tavares was putting on. Fitch did a great job escaping from Diego Sanchez’s many submission attempts while delivering the occasional “monkey punch,” but it was the submissions that made the fight great.

They both won on the basis of superior wrestling, but never really put their opponents in any real danger. I’m not saying that Sanchez or Tavares won those fights, just that they did more to win them. Call it “Sprawl and Stall,” call it “Lay and Pray,” I don’t care: I don’t like watching wrestling, and I certainly don’t want to watch it when I’m paying to watch a fight.

Again, they were clearly more athletic than their opponents, and clearly had great hip control, but let’s seem some fighting. Is that too much to ask?

As is customary on this blog, I’ve got my incredibly naive and myopic fight picks for tomorrow night’s free fight on SpikeTV. Let the idiocy begin!

Kenny Florian vs Din Thomas

Kenny “KenFlo” Florian made his entrance into the UFC losing to Diego Sanchez in the finale of The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) 1. In his defense, Florian was fighting 30 pounds above his natural weight class, and has since only lost to noted steroid-connoisseur Sean Sherk. He has looked better in each fight, and is an impressive Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu fighter with razor-sharp elbows on the ground. Florian was impressive in his last fight a scant two months ago and is taking this fight on short notice to replace Spencer Fisher, out due to a staph infection from the filthy mats at Miletich Fighting Systems.

Din “Dinyero” Thomas, on the other hand, has as many losses as Florian has wins, but luckily has 20 wins to go with them. He made his debut in the UFC getting his ass handed to him by BJ Penn, which nobody can really blame him for. He has recorded wins over current welterweight champion, Matt Serra, and former lightweight champ Spencer Fisher, sidelined from tomorrow’s fight by the aforementioned staph infection (seriously, Pat, would it kill you to clean the place once in a while?). He also beat the scary-chested Clay Guida, but has an otherwise good, but unremarkable career.

Who takes it? Thomas has the experience, but Florian has momentum. Florian has an impressive BJJ background, but Thomas has submitted 11 opponents. “KenFlo” is a stupid name, but “Dinyero” may actually be stupider. I’m going with Thomas by decision. BJJ experts are unlikely to get caught in a submission, so I expect a lot of rolling around on the mat for three rounds. And at that point, the judges will have a hard time awarding the win to a skinny Ben Stiller look-alike.

Chris Leben vs. Terry Martin

Chris “The Crippler” Leben is a hard-working, hard-hitting fighter. Terry Martin has more experience, fewer losses, more knockouts, and more submissions. Martin wins because Leben is a dumb-ass.

Junior Assuncao vs. Nate Diaz

Junior Assuncao has been set up. He was hand-picked to make sure that Nate Diaz, the recent TUF 5 winner, looks like a winner after his fight with Manny Gamburyan was stopped by Gamburyan’s shoulder dislocating while taking Diaz to the mat. Sorry Junior, Papa Dana didn’t let you have this fight so you could win. Diaz by submission.

Pete Sell vs. Nate Quarry

Pete “Drago” Sell lost an improbable fight to Scott Smith in the finale for his season of TUF, knocked out by Smith out after delivering a vicious body blow that would have ended the fight if not for a quick right hand to the jaw of Sell. Nate “Rock” Quarry kicked Sell’s ass before. Quarry kicks Sell’s ass again.

Edilberto de Oliveira vs. Luke Cummo

I don’t know anything at all about Edilberto “Crocota” de Oliveira. Luke “The Silent Assassin” Cummo drinks his own piss. Cummo wins because Crocota will be afraid to touch him.

Leonard Garcia vs. Cole Miller

Leonard “Bad Boy” Garcia is a bad boy. Cole “Magrino” Miller is the guy I keep thinking is the much cooler Joe Lauzon. Miller spanks the bad boy.

Joe Veres vs. Gray Maynard

Joe “Mighty” Veres is, evidently, mighty. Gray “The Bully” Maynard knocked himself out in the process of beating the crap out of Rob Emerson. Maynard bullies Veres.

Kuniyoshi Hironaka vs. Thiago Alves

Kuniyoshi Hironaka and Thiago “Pitbull” Alves have both lost to John Fitch, but Hironaka has beaten Nick Diaz, so I guess I’m picking Hironaka.

Dustin Hazelett vs. Jonathan Goulet

Dustin Hazelett is from Cincinnati,? home to the soon to have his ass handed to him Rich Franklin. Jonathan “The Road Warrior” Goulet is from Canada. Since I don’t want to start an international incident with a certain Habs fan that reads this blog, Goulet wins by knockout.

But what do you think?

It’s odd, but according to the UFC, Cecil was the judge that scored the bout for Matt Hamill. Huh? How did I and everyone else watching get the wrong impression? I really wish I would have TiVo’d the show last night.

Well, my picks weren’t nearly as good as last time, mostly because I underestimated both French fighters and refused to pick another fighter because he’s so annoying. Let’s run it down:

Quinton Jackson vs. Dan Henderson

My prediction: Rampage: bigger, meaner, and better than ever.

Actual result: Rampage by decision in 5 rounds.

This was a pretty even match, both in terms of ability and style. Both fighters were ducking and throwing overhand rights, both fighters did most of their striking in brief flurries, and both men took turns taking each other to the canvas and working from side control. But Rampage was more dominant every round except the first, and was obviously better conditioned – no mean feat for the larger fighter.

Marcus Davis vs. Paul Taylor

My prediction: Davis wins it because we’re sure he’s actually a fighter.

Actual result: Davis wins by submission in the first round.

I didn’t have a lot of respect for Taylor going into the fight, calling him “The Busboy” during the fighter interviews, but he was right about one thing: he has a hell of a high kick that nearly ended the fight early. But Davis proved me right by staying composed while taking some severe punishment and pulling out an armbar for the win.

Mirko Filipovi? vs. Cheick Kongo

My prediction: Cro Cop wins by tap out in the first 5 seconds.

Actual result: Kongo by decision in 3 rounds.

It seems that Kongo has been working out in Big Bear with Rampage and his trainer Juanito Ibarra. I wasn’t aware that Kongo had developed beyond the one-dimensional kick-boxer that we’d seen in the past. He came in with a great game-plan, backing up Mirko and keeping him on the defensive, and looked relatively comfortable on the ground. I think Mirko may be heading back to law enforcement after these last two defeats.

Michael Bisping vs. Matt Hamill

My prediction: Bisping wins because this isn’t a wrestling match.

Actual result: Bisping eeks out a split decision because two of the judges had difficulty seeing the match with their heads so far up their asses.

I liked Hamill on The Ultimate Fighter 3, but found him to be entirely one-dimensional. Last night he showed that he’s figured out how to turn his explosive wrestling shot into a lunging punch and worked well in the clinch. He spent the entire match chasing Bisping down and turning his face into a lumpy mess. But I guess in London they follow the Pride rules where unless the local fighter is completely knocked out, he wins the decision. Disappointing.

Fightlinker comes up with the best quote:

You’d think [Judge Cecil] Peoples would have been sympathetic to Hamill because they both have disabilities. Hamill of course is deaf, but not many seem to know that Peoples is blind.

Houston Alexander vs. Alessio Sakara

My prediction: If I had to put down money on this fight, I’d bet that Alexander wins, but he keeps opening his mouth. Sakara just because if he babbles a bunch of bullshit, it’ll probably be in Italian and I won’t have to care.

Actual result: Alexander knocks Sakara out in the first round.

Alexander proved himself to be just as dominant as he was in his win over Keith Jardine, but also proved that he’s still just as annoying, announcing to the London croud that “Nebraska is in the building,” leaving many confused about which tube station they had arrived at. I guess I’ll call this a missed prediction for me, since I wanted so badly for Alexander to lose, but I still want him to have lost.

I can’t find the preliminary bouts on the internet yet, so there will be no snappy commentary for the rest of these fights.

Terry Etim vs. Gleison Tibau

My prediction: Tibau because somebody cared enough to make him a Wikipedia entry.

Actual result: Tibau by unanimous decision.

Anthony Torres vs. Jess Liaudin

My prediction: Torres because while he’s Chamorro, Spanish and Irish, he isn’t French.

Actual result: Liaudin by TKO in the first round.

Thiago Silva vs. Tomasz Drwal

My prediction: Silva will knock him out.

Actual result: Silva by TKO in the second round.

Dennis Siver vs. Naoyuki Kotani

My prediction: Siver by decision.

Actual result: Siver by KO in round two.

So that’s 6 right and 3 wrong, though one of the fights I got wrong I knew I would get wrong, and one of the fights I got right was won by crap judging and home court advantage, so I feel okay about my results. Ultimate Fight Night is in 10 days, so I can get my average back up then if I start doing my extremely thorough research now. Step one: compare nicknames..

On a separate note, watching the UFC for free: awesome. Watching the UFC tape-delayed with commercials: crap. So, another night of awesome crap, but at least it didn’t cost me 40 bucks.

So I’m sure you’ll all be tuning in to Spike TV’s free broadcast of UFC 75: Champion vs Champion this Saturday at 9pm, if for no other reason than so that you can watch as all of my fight predictions are proven wrong. Oh sure, I’m no fight expert, and I’m certainly not a fighter myself, and maybe, just maybe, it’s true that I’m not even sure who all of the fighters are, but that’s not going to stop me from flaunting my inexperience. So once again, it’s time for my incredibly superficial fight picks!

Quinton Jackson vs. Dan Henderson

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson recently came over to the UFC from the now-defunct Pride Fighting Championships where he spent years as a good, but not great, middleweight fighter before entering the UFC where he faced Chuck Liddell for the light heavyweight belt, knocking him out in the first round. He has a background in wrestling, but has improved his striking game with a great right hand.

Dan “Hollywood” Henderson recently came over to the UFC from the now-defunct Pride Fighting Championships where he spent years as a good, but not great, middleweight fighter before entering the Pride Bushido Welterweight Grand Prix where he faced Murilo Bustamante for the welterweight belt, winning by split decision. He has a background in wrestling, but has improved his striking game with a great right hand.

Who wins it? Rampage: bigger, meaner, and better than ever. Plus he wears a big chain to the ring – how does a guy nicknamed Hollywood compete with that?

Marcus Davis vs. Paul Taylor

Marcus “The Irish Hand Grenade” Davis has been forced by the UFC to change his nickname to “The Celtic Warrior” for this fight because it’s being held in London. Paul Taylor is fighting because he’s from Walsall, England, and the UFC is hoping to draw more English fans. Davis wins it because we’re sure he’s actually a fighter.

Mirko Filipovi? vs. Cheick Kongo

Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovi? is the most feared striker in MMA. So feared, in fact, that when he nicknamed his right leg “Hospital” and his left leg “Cemetery,” nobody laughed. Even so, he’s had a pretty up-and-down career with some losses that just don’t belong there, including his recent loss to Gabriel “Napao (translation: I can’t fight because that old man busted up my big nose so badly that the blood in my eyes is making me cry)” Gonzaga. Cheick “The French Sensation” Kongo is French. Cro Cop wins by tap out in the first 5 seconds.

Michael Bisping vs. Matt Hamill

Michael “The Count” Bisping is big with precise striking and excellent submission defense. He was undefeated on his season of The Ultimate Fighter, and has been impressive since. Matt “The Hammer” Hamill is an amazing wrestler who “happens to be deaf.” But he’s one dimensional: he takes opponents down and hopes that they twist something on the way to the canvas. His striking looks like everybody’s drunk uncle boxing with a pinata at a REALLY good birthday party. Bisping wins because this isn’t a wrestling match.

Houston Alexander vs. Alessio Sakara

Houston “The Assassin” Alexander made an impressive debut knocking out Keith Jardine so powerfully that even Jardine’s enemies felt bad for him. Alessio “Legionarius” Sakara is an Italian that nobody has really ever heard of. If I had to put down money on this fight, I’d bet that Alexander wins, but he keeps opening his mouth. Strikes against him: he claims to have won “hundreds” of underground fights, his sponsor is “8-ball Nutrition” and he was screaming “Nebraska” over and over after his last fight. Prediction: Sakara just because if he babbles a bunch of bullshit, it’ll probably be in Italian and I won’t have to care.

Terry Etim vs. Gleison Tibau

Gleison Tibau is a Brazilian Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighter who trains with American Top Team. Terry Etim is another guy with freaky abs that last fought in UFC 70, in Manchester. I guess he’s another Brit that they’re going to keep bringing to every event in the UK. Tibau because somebody cared enough to make him a Wikipedia entry.

Anthony Torres vs. Jess Liaudin

Anthony “The Crush” Torres washed out of the second season of The Ultimate Fighter. Jess “Joker” Liaudin is French. Are they trying to make this event easy for gamblers? Torres because while he’s Chamorro, Spanish and Irish, he isn’t French.

Thiago Silva vs. Tomasz Drwal

Thiago “Anderson Ramos Da” Silva is… wait, that’s not a nickname! That’s just his long-ass name! It’s a good thing that Silva has the Chute Box Muay Thai experience to back up all those names. Tomasz “Gorilla” Drwal is polish, as anyone who noticed the distinct paucity of vowels in his name can tell. I’m sure there’s a “How many pollacks does it take to knock out a Chute Box fighter?” joke in this somewhere, but it doesn’t matter. Silva will knock him out.

Dennis Siver vs. Naoyuki Kotani

Who? I don’t know anything about these guys. Well, I know that Siver is German. And Kotani is Japanese and fights for “Rodeo Style.” I guess in this battle of former Axis allies, whoever doesn’t fight for “Rodeo Style” wins. Siver by decision.

So those are my picks. While I was 8 for 8 last time, I would encourage you not to take my advice too seriously, since I have no idea what I’m talking about.

I’ve always wondered why former UFC Heavyweight Champion Josh Barnett likes to wear shoes in the ring when so many other fighters don’t, and I just figured it out. It’s not because of his catch wrestling background. It’s because he’s disfigured. Here he is answering questions about Renato Sobral’s choke on David Heath:

“Maybe to sportswriters and fans it was a really ugly scenario — and you know what, if I had known he was going to do something like that I would have told him not to — but it’s not uncommon. It’s not something as a fighter — and I’ve been in this business 11 years — I have seen it more than I can count on both hands and both toes. That happens. Things happen.”

Holy crap! He only has two toes! I’d keep my shoes on as well!

I just sent this email through the contact form on Josh Barnett’s website:

Hey Josh,

Loved what you wrote about Randy – except the part about you being the rightful champ. If being the champ was important to you, why didn’t you fight clean?

Anyway, I’d love to see you fight in the UFC, but please lay off the Vitamin S this time.

Love and kisses,

Jemal

Well, I wish I was a betting man, because I was right about the winners, if not the methods of victory, for every single fight on the card last night. Randy Couture won an impressive fight, stopping Gabriel Gonzaga in the third round with a TKO. What was amazing was that the 44-year-old dominated a man 16 years younger with better striking, better conditioning and what can only be described as complete domination. And like I said, Napao is a stupid nickname.

We were having a party at our place last night, so I taped the fights and watched them today. It took all the willpower I had not to check the many MMA-related feeds that I follow this morning so that I could see the fights without knowing the winners. The show was much better than 73, though I found GSP’s fight a little dull. It looks like after changing teams and managers, he decided to change his fighting style as well. I guess it was effective, but I would have thought such a well-rounded fighter could have finished a limited wrestler/striker like KOS, either with his kicks or by submission.

Once again, it sucked to pay to see the fights, and miss almost all of the preliminary bouts. Luckily, Randy finished his fight early enough that we got to watch Thales Leites put a beautiful armbar on Ryan Jensen. But whichever fight left mat stained with blood for the rest of the night would have been nice to see.

The best news is that UFC 75: Watch a Deaf Guy Get his Ass Kicked will be free on Spike TV. Seeing Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Dan Henderson go at it for free (as well as watching Michael Bisping destroy the aforementioned Matt Hamill) will be great. I hope to make fight picks a regular part of this site, so I’ll have to get something together next week.

For the last year or so, I’ve been getting back into watching Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) events. Whether it’s the UFC, WEC, PrideFC, BodogFight, King of the Cage, or just whatever I can find on the internet, I’ve really been enjoying MMA, in spite of some nasty goings-on last winter (don’t ask). I like the physicality, I like the competition, and I really like the fighters.

But what really intrigues me is the technique. Or rather techniques.

What a lot of the MMA naysayers seem to miss (probably from having blood splashed in their eyes) is that there are an extraordinary number of techniques that you need to master to have a chance in MMA. Fighters have to know something about wrestling, boxing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ), and muay thai to stand a chance, and any one of those can take a lifetime to master.

So with that message to my non-MMA readers out of the way, here are my incredibly superficial picks for UFC 74: Respect.

Randy Couture vs. Gabriel Gonzaga

Randy Couture is the five-time UFC champion, having held belts in both the heavyweight and light heavyweight divisions. He’s also 44 years old, and not as well-rounded or successful as you might expect, being mostly a striker and wrestler (though he did choke out Mike van Arsdale), and holding a record of 15-8. They call him “The Natural” and “Captain America.

Gabriel “Napao” Gonzaga is a black belt in BJJ with lots of national and world championships to back it up. He has a knockout victory over Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovi?, the deadliest striker in the history of MMA. But he also has a nickname that means big nose. ‘Nuff said: Randy by decision.

Josh Koscheck vs. Georges St. Pierre

Josh “Kos” Koscheck has an impressive 9-1 record with a win over the previously undefeated Diego Sanchez. He was the NCAA Division I champion in the 174 lb after winning all 42 of his matches in his Junior year. He’s a four time All-American, and three time PSAC Wrestler of the Year.

Georges “Rush” St. Pierre is a former welterweight champion with wins over some of the most impressive fighters in the world: Matt Hughes, BJ Penn, Sean Sherk, Jason Miller, Frank Trigg and Karo Parisyan. But only one thing is going to decide this fight: the French Canadians incursions south of the border. St. Pierre by ball kicks in the second round.

Roger Huerta vs. Alberto Crane

Huerta is 4 inches taller, and a lot stronger. Crane has only 5 sentences in his Wikipedia writeup. Huerta wins by TKO.

Kurt Pellegrino vs. Joe Stevenson

Kurt Pellegrino has some good wins recently, but Joe’s nickname is “Daddy.” Daddy’s looking for a KO in the third round.

Patrick Cote vs. Kendall Grove

Cote is another French Canuck, so he has to pronounce his last name “Coatay” which counts against him, but Grove goes by “Da Spyder” which makes him a douchebag. Grove will probably win, but I refuse to support that kind of self-nicknaming. Cote by decision.

Renato Sobral vs. David Heath

Renato “Babalu” Sobral has 4 times as many fights. Babalu by submission in the second.

Ryan Jensen vs. Thales Leites

Ryan who? Leites because that’s a name I can remember.

Frank Mir vs. Antoni Hardonk

Frank Mir lost his heavyweight belt after a nasty motorcycle accident. That may be the most masculine sentence ever written. Combined with the fact that Hardonk is a stupid name, Mir by submission in the second.

Clay Guida vs. Marcus Aurelio

Clay Guida scares the hell out of me. See for yourself:

Guida quickly so I don’t have to keep looking at him.

And to give you all a taste of MMA and especially BJJ, here’s a woman kicking some dude’s ass:

BoingBoing and Slashdot are both linking to this story about the world’s last ninja. Let’s take a loook:

But he also has watched his legacy co-opted by goofy caricatures such as “Mutant Ninja Turtles” and schlocky Hollywood send-ups like “Beverly Hills Ninja.”

“I think it’s pathetic,” Hatsumi says of the ninja’s modern image.

Wow, how tragic. Our modern cynicism and lack of respect is tarnishing the true spirit of ninjitsu. What best exemplifies that spirit?

Legend says that during one battle, Takamatsu snatched an eyeball from a would-be Chinese bandit.

Oh yeah: eyeball snatching. Get bent Hatsumi. We’re talking about assassins here, not artists or poets. Ninjas are nothing more than deadly prostitutes, pal, and in fact they’re lower than prostitutes, because at least they make somebody happy.

TangleBones: the only website willing to take on the ninja menace.

In the interests of safety, before you go watching the movie below, check out this poor son of a bitch.

With that warning to the careless out of the way, check out this Russian Parkour afficianado:

[Video lost to the sands of time.]