Last week on Tracey’s recommendation, I went out with Keith to The Helmand, an Afghan restaurant in Baltimore. I’d never had Afghan food anymore and was comforted when I recognized some of the words on the menu as different spellings of Arabic foods. The similarities ended there, of course, but luckily, everything was fantastic.
Keith and I both started with the Kaddo Borawni, which is sauteed baby pumpkin with a yogurt garlic sauce. I know exactly how that sounds – trust me. I’m no fan of yogurt. But it was all I could do to keep from licking my plate clean. (Keith reserved some bread to sop it up.)
I had the Koufta Challow, which they describe as “lamb and beef meatballs seasoned with sun-dried baby grapes, paprika and turmeric in hot green pepper, green peas and fresh tomato sauce.” Very tasty. Probably one of the best meals I’ve had in years, to be honest. Keith seemed to like his meal – though he couldn’t remember what it was called and they took the menu. Looked good though.
They also make a fine cup of cardamom tea, which we both had, and I loved the “Middle Eastern Pastries” which seemed like baklava and something that looked like a mini-egg roll served with raspberry and mint sauces. Keith said that he enjoyed the Afghan ice cream with dates, dried figs and fresh mango, but I can’t tell if he was just humoring me.
I honestly can’t recommend the place highly enough. As great as the place was, I was most impressed with the prices: dinner for two with starters, entrees, deserts and tea for about $50. Go to The Helmand. And let me know how much you loved it.
First things first: buy yourself some Pico Pica immediately. Then buy me some for recommending it.
Secondly, this is not salsa. I cannot emphasize this enough. Every time I start talking about how much I love my Pico Pica, people try dipping chips in it. It’s not dip, dammit, it’s a condiment. Think of it as a replacement for Tabasco or Crystal, but with a deep, complex flavor and no vinegary smell or taste. It’s got heat, but the heat is second to the flavor.
This is the sauce I grew up on. My parents, because they love me so much started putting this stuff on my food when I was a year old. I put it on eggs, I put it in Chili, I put it on tacos and burritos and enchiladas and anything else I want to improve. The company recommends it on steak, and while I wouldn’t go pouring it on a porterhouse, it’s pretty good on carne asada.
I wish that I could invent some kind of internet-based scratch and lick that would let you taste this stuff. But honestly, that would be too cruel: you’d end up spending the whole time you were waiting for it to arrive licking your monitor.
Me, I’m nursing my last quarter of a bottle and cursing myself for blowing my allowance on getting my windows tinted. Stupid windows! You are flavorless and uninteresting!
I was going to follow up my Go See Serenity post with this very positive review by Orson Scott Card, but then I remembered that he wrote this piece of fascist shit and then I found this post on kuro5hin where the author basically calls him a Nazi apologist, and I thought, “you know what’s great about Serenity? Even asshats like it!”
So whether you’re a fascist, a mormon sci-fi author with a lousy definition for sci-fi, or even the author of an apologia for Hitler, you’ll love this movie! But still, you know, fuck off and die.