September 20th, 2007 by Jemaleddin Cole

Jared had a pretty good time with his first night as a Tiger Cub Scout last night. One of the nicest boys from his class will be in his den, and I think the boy’s very cool dad and mom (who is Jared’s in-school assistant) will be at the meetings. His den mother is very nice and seems excited to include Jared in all of the scouting

Last night he made a train out of little pieces of wood and glue, and then scribbled on top with a yellow magic marker. He did a good job, and some other kids were trying to copy the great job he did piecing it together, saying, “we have to do it the way Jared did!” But I’d say he had the most fun running around with a few other kids taking turns throwing a hat around and then chasing it.

But when I filled out the application for Jared, I started feeling a little worried. On the form, they excerpt the first paragraph of the Declaration of Religious Principle:

The Boy Scouts of America maintains that no member can grow into the best kind of citizen without recognizing an obligation to God and, therefore, recognizes the religious element in the training of the member, but it is absolutely nonsectarian in its attitude toward that religious training. Its policy is that the home and organization or group with which the member is connected shall give definite attention to religious life.

Only persons willing to subscribe to these precepts from the Declaration of Religious Principle and to the Bylaws of the Boy Scouts of America shall be entitled to certificates of leadership.

Oh crap, eh? I guess this exempts me from being a leader, but what does it mean for Jared? I looked up the BSA National Council on the web, and found a page that outlines a scout’s duty to God:

The Boy Scout Handbook (11th ed.) explains a Scouts’ “duty to God” as “Your family and religious leaders teach you about God and the ways you can serve. You do your duty to God by following the wisdom of those teachings every day and by respecting and defending the rights of others to practice their own beliefs.”

I could probably find ways  to convince myself that as atheists, we were doing those things by doing nothing, using the standard atheist interpretation of “In God we Trust” printed on our currency: “Trust no one with your money.” And in that context, the requirement for Bobcat Cub scouts that they:

“Put God first. Do what you know God wants you to do.”

…becomes:

“Put no one first. Do what you know nobody wants you to do.”

…which is at least funny, but could lead to Jared covering more surfaces in tiles of bologna. But a Wolf Cub scout  has to:

“[t]alk with your folks about what they believe is their duty to God,” “[g]ive some ideas on how you can practice or demonstrate your religious beliefs,” and “[f]ind out how you can help your church, synagogue, or religious fellowship.”

And I don’t see a good way for Jared to do that. Besides which, I like the people in scouting, and I don’t want to feel like I’m lying to them. I especially don’t want to involve Jared in lying.

What’s annoying about all of this is that Jared isn’t really capable of understanding abstract concepts like God and religion. Jared still doesn’t really understand Santa, and thinks that Dora and Diego are actual people. Even if we were dyed-in-the-wool Babptists, Jared couldn’t comprehend, let alone accomplish any of the acts of religious expression the scouts require.

So what do I do? Hope that he gets tired of scouting? Talk my way around any religious discussions? Use my knowledge of the bible to fake it? On that note, let’s end with a passage from Isaiah, chapter 45, verse 3:

I form the light and create darkness,
I bring prosperity and create disaster;
I, the LORD, do all these things.

7 Responses to “First Night at Cub Scouts, or Believer of the Pack”

1. Wow, I never realized that scout organizations were nothing more than right wing religious recruiting tools. At that rate, you might as well enroll him into the Young Republicans.

   Don’t forget to teach him how the devil put all of them dinosaur bones in the ground to confuse us!

   — jerry September 21st, 2007 at 7:27 am #

2. They’re not quite that bad, obviously. In fact, they state in no uncertain terms that they are not to provide any sectarian religious information of any kind.

   But of course, I remain silent for part of the pledge, so I’m a bit more sensitive to these things than most.

   — Jemaleddin September 21st, 2007 at 8:42 am #

3. Jesus love you.

   — C.S. September 21st, 2007 at 9:33 am #

4. And Mr. Snufalufagus loves you too.

   — Jemaleddin September 21st, 2007 at 11:33 am #

5. (Or more to the point, Children’s Television Workshop.)

   — Jemaleddin September 21st, 2007 at 12:08 pm #

6. Isn’t there some kind of alternative to the Boy Scouts that’s essentially the same thing, except minus the religious requirements?

   Of course, I realize that’s a lousy solution for Jared, on the assumption that all of his friends are joining Scouting. Presumably, he’d want to be in there with them.

   — Arthur Adams September 22nd, 2007 at 5:58 am #

7. There actually is a counter-bsa that allows atheists and hindus and gays to be involved in scouting, but it’s not a nation-wide thing.

   And no, it wouldn’t work out. As far as I can tell the reason that Jared wants this so badly is that it was explained to him that “first grade boys are tiger cub scouts.” He likes to do what he’s supposed to do based on his age.

   — Jemaleddin September 22nd, 2007 at 6:20 am #