September 18th, 2007 by Jemaleddin Cole

As is cus­tom­ary on this blog, I’ve got my incred­i­bly naive and myopic fight picks for tomor­row night’s free fight on SpikeTV. Let the idiocy begin!

Kenny Flo­rian vs Din Thomas

Kenny “KenFlo” Flo­rian made his entrance into the UFC losing to Diego Sanchez in the finale of The Ulti­mate Fighter (TUF) 1. In his defense, Flo­rian was fight­ing 30 pounds above his nat­ural weight class, and has since only lost to noted steroid-​connoisseur Sean Sherk. He has looked better in each fight, and is an impres­sive Brazil­lian Jiu-​Jitsu fighter with razor-​sharp elbows on the ground. Flo­rian was impres­sive in his last fight a scant two months ago and is taking this fight on short notice to replace Spencer Fisher, out due to a staph infec­tion from the filthy mats at Miletich Fight­ing Systems.

Din “Dinyero” Thomas, on the other hand, has as many losses as Flo­rian has wins, but luck­ily has 20 wins to go with them. He made his debut in the UFC get­ting his ass handed to him by BJ Penn, which nobody can really blame him for. He has recorded wins over cur­rent wel­ter­weight cham­pion, Matt Serra, and former light­weight champ Spencer Fisher, side­lined from tomorrow’s fight by the afore­men­tioned staph infec­tion (seri­ously, Pat, would it kill you to clean the place once in a while?). He also beat the scary-​chested Clay Guida, but has an oth­er­wise good, but unre­mark­able career.

Who takes it? Thomas has the expe­ri­ence, but Flo­rian has momen­tum. Flo­rian has an impres­sive BJJ back­ground, but Thomas has sub­mit­ted 11 oppo­nents. “KenFlo” is a stupid name, but “Dinyero” may actu­ally be stu­pider. I’m going with Thomas by deci­sion. BJJ experts are unlikely to get caught in a sub­mis­sion, so I expect a lot of rolling around on the mat for three rounds. And at that point, the judges will have a hard time award­ing the win to a skinny Ben Stiller look-​alike.

Chris Leben vs. Terry Martin

Chris “The Crippler” Leben is a hard-​working, hard-​hitting fighter. Terry Martin has more expe­ri­ence, fewer losses, more knock­outs, and more sub­mis­sions. Martin wins because Leben is a dumb-​ass.

Junior Assun­cao vs. Nate Diaz

Junior Assun­cao has been set up. He was hand-​picked to make sure that Nate Diaz, the recent TUF 5 winner, looks like a winner after his fight with Manny Gam­buryan was stopped by Gamburyan’s shoul­der dis­lo­cat­ing while taking Diaz to the mat. Sorry Junior, Papa Dana didn’t let you have this fight so you could win. Diaz by submission.

Pete Sell vs. Nate Quarry

Pete “Drago” Sell lost an improb­a­ble fight to Scott Smith in the finale for his season of TUF, knocked out by Smith out after deliv­er­ing a vicious body blow that would have ended the fight if not for a quick right hand to the jaw of Sell. Nate “Rock” Quarry kicked Sell’s ass before. Quarry kicks Sell’s ass again.

Edil­berto de Oliveira vs. Luke Cummo

I don’t know any­thing at all about Edil­berto “Crocota” de Oliveira. Luke “The Silent Assassin” Cummo drinks his own piss. Cummo wins because Cro­cota will be afraid to touch him.

Leonard Garcia vs. Cole Miller

Leonard “Bad Boy” Garcia is a bad boy. Cole “Magrino” Miller is the guy I keep think­ing is the much cooler Joe Lauzon. Miller spanks the bad boy.

Joe Veres vs. Gray Maynard

Joe “Mighty” Veres is, evi­dently, mighty. Gray “The Bully” May­nard knocked him­self out in the process of beat­ing the crap out of Rob Emer­son. May­nard bul­lies Veres.

Kuniyoshi Hiron­aka vs. Thiago Alves

Kuniyoshi Hiron­aka and Thiago “Pitbull” Alves have both lost to John Fitch, but Hiron­aka has beaten Nick Diaz, so I guess I’m pick­ing Hironaka.

Dustin Hazelett vs. Jonathan Goulet

Dustin Hazelett is from Cincinnati,  home to the soon to have his ass handed to him Rich Franklin. Jonathan “The Road Warrior” Goulet is from Canada. Since I don’t want to start an inter­na­tional inci­dent with a cer­tain Habs fan that reads this blog, Goulet wins by knockout.

But what do you think?

2 Responses to “UFC Fight Night 11: Picks and Predictions”

1. 1) Do you bet real money on these?
   2) What is your past record on MMA pre­dic­tion?

   — JohnM September 19th, 2007 at 3:30 am #

2. 1) No - in fact, I don’t believe in gam­bling. I did help write a web site that man­aged a fan­tasy MMA camp, how­ever, and fight pick­ing was a part of that

   2) I’m just above 82% right now, but as stated above, my picks are naive and myopic, so don’t trust them!

   — Jemaleddin September 19th, 2007 at 5:38 am #