August, 2007 · TangleBones
An open letter to NBC, Re: iTunes
Dear NBC,
Please stop being stupid. When I can buy Heroes Season 1 on DVD with extras for $37.99, why would I pay $109.78 for season 2 in iTunes? Especially when I can watch them on TV for free? I don’t know why you think we’re stupid, but it might be projection. Seek help.
Thanks,
Jemal
Josh Barnett Has a Reason to Wear Shoes in the Ring
I’ve always wondered why former UFC Heavyweight Champion Josh Barnett likes to wear shoes in the ring when so many other fighters don’t, and I just figured it out. It’s not because of his catch wrestling background. It’s because he’s disfigured. Here he is answering questions about Renato Sobral’s choke on David Heath:
“Maybe to sportswriters and fans it was a really ugly scenario — and you know what, if I had known he was going to do something like that I would have told him not to — but it’s not uncommon. It’s not something as a fighter — and I’ve been in this business 11 years — I have seen it more than I can count on both hands and both toes. That happens. Things happen.”
Holy crap! He only has two toes! I’d keep my shoes on as well!
Senator Craig’s Strange Statements
I was listening to the taped interview with Larry Craig after his arrest for trying to get it on with Sgt. Dave Karsnia of the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport Police Department, and a few of his comments seemed out of place:
OFFICER: I’m not going to bring you to jail.
CRAIG: You solicited me.
Also:
CRAIG: I don’t, ah, I am not gay, I don’t do these kinds of things and…
OFFICER: It doesn’t matter. I don’t care about sexual preference or anything like that. Here’s your stuff back sir. Um, I don’t care about sexual preference.
CRAIG: I know you don’t. You’re out to enforce the law.
OFFICER: Right.
CRAIG: But you shouldn’t be out to entrap people either.
What this reminds me of, is the story of the man who borrowed a piece of crockery (plate, platter, kettle, something like that) from his neighbor. When he brought it back, it was broken, so his neighbor confronts him. His defense is:
- It was broken when I borrowed it.
- It was fine when I brought it back.
- I never borrowed it.
This sounds a lot like what Larry is saying:
- You solicited me.
- You entrapped me.
- I didn’t do anything.
Does that make any more sense? If he didn’t do anything, what was he entrapped into doing? What was he solicited for, if he didn’t do anything?
Another statement that bothered me was this one in which he tells us why he can’t be gay:
“I wasn’t eager to share this failure, but I should have anyway, because I am not gay. I love my wife, my family. I care about friends and staff and Idaho. I love serving this great state.”
And I guess, when he puts it that way, he really can’t be gay. I mean, he loves his family - we all know that gays could never love their family! And loving his state? That clinches it!
I’d also like to point out some of the text of the “petition to enter plea of guilty - misdemeanor” that he signed:
4. I understand that the court will not accept a plea of guilty from anyone who claims to be innocent.
5. I now make no claim that I am innocent of the charge to which I am entering a plea of guilty.
Not a lot of wiggle room there. And yet he states:
“While I was not involved in any inappropriate conduct at the Minneapolis airport or anywhere else, I chose to plead guilty to a lesser charge in hopes of making it go away.”
So is there a way that any of this could make sense?
Do me a favor
…and wish my wife good luck on her trip today. Send her an email, pray for her (if that’s your thing) or just think good thoughts on her behalf. This is her first long road-trip without me in a long time and I think she’s a little nervous. So let her know that you’re thinking about her.
Thanks.
Review: Skagen 396LTMB Men’s Watch
For my birthday this year, my wife got me this cool Skagen watch. It has a stainless steel mesh band and a titanium body, both of which are black as a result of ion plating. The mesh band is perfect for me because it doesn’t get caught in my arm hair the way a lot of metal linked bands do, but it also doesn’t soak up sweat the way that leather bands do.
It has glow-in-the-dark hands and markings, a second hand, and the day of the week and month. The face is a hardened mineral crystal, and it’s water resistant to 3 atmospheres. The clasp is a fold-over with a second fold-over catch, and the mechanism is easily adjustable and fun to play with.
The whole thing is also incredibly thin and light.
I’d say it’s probably the perfect watch, and easily the nicest watch I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t be happier. Buy it on Amazon. And yes, that’s an order.
. And yes, that’s an order.Untold Tales, Part 2
Many years ago, we rented a car and drove out to Wisconsin to get married, which is a story in itself. But an appropriate story, given the goings-on in the senate, is about the drive back.
We had been driving all day and into the night. Kellie and Sierra were asleep, and I was finally able to achieve what all men strive for: making good time. My wife and daughter are wonderful driving companions, and they make the hours fly by with their sweet voices and witty conversation. But they’re not good for making time. Read the rest of this entry »
Untold Tales
So I have all these stories that I tell all the time, and it occurs to me that I’ve never blogged them. So here’s the first of what might end up being a series.
A while back I was carrying Jared into his bedroom to put him to bed. He was sort of sitting on my hips facing me and rocking back and forth. Right as we went through the door he leaned way over to his right and smacked the back of his head on the door frame. I pulled him upright and set him down on the bed saying, “Oh Jared! I’m sorry I whacked your head!”
“You whacked me?” he asked.
“Yes, Jared, but it was an accident.”
“Okay, I whack you.” With that, he hauled off and slugged me in the neck with a right roundhouse that knocked me from a kneeling position all the way to flat on the floor. Honestly, my head was spinning, and I realized that we REALLY had to spend some time talking to Jared about what an accident is, and that while a lot of people say that martial arts are good for kids with autism, Jared doesn’t need any help learning how to throw a punch.
And from now on, if Jared hits his head, I’ll tell him, “YOU whacked your head!”
An Open Letter to Republican Politicians, Re: Your Sex Life
Dear Republican Politicians,
Since it seems that each and every one of you have a secret gay sex life, don’t you think it might be time to come out of the closet? I mean, I don’t care if you want to stay in the closet, I really don’t, though I find your hypocritical voting records troubling, but think of what a life as an openly gay politician would mean. No more hiding out in public restrooms, no more embarrassing press conferences, no more sneaking around trying to think of people to blame for your arrests.
The thing about all of this is that eventually, everyone will find out what you’re up to (I’m looking at you, Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham) because you keep having sex with people! Those people aren’t going to watch you vote against gay rights year after year without speaking up. So why not just come out and defuse the whole situation? You know, stay ahead of the situation.
And just imagine what a relief it will be when you can stop this whole self-loathing thing! You can stop supporting those beards you’ve been paying for, you can meet somebody who shares your interests in lowering the capital gains tax and flower arranging, and best of all you can listen to a much better class of dance music! I mean, aren’t you tired of pretending you like line dancing when you could be at one of DC’s many gay clubs? I’m sure the selection in Idaho is limited, but after a long day on the senate floor disenfranchising minorities and restricting civil liberties, you can take your pick of clubs to do some poppers and mingle with cute guys hungry for a sugar daddy.
Just promise me you’ll think it over.
Your constituent,
Jemal Cole
An Open Letter to Josh Barnett, RE: UFC 74
I just sent this email through the contact form on Josh Barnett’s website:
Hey Josh,
Loved what you wrote about Randy - except the part about you being the rightful champ. If being the champ was important to you, why didn’t you fight clean?
Anyway, I’d love to see you fight in the UFC, but please lay off the Vitamin S this time.
Love and kisses,
Jemal
BoingBoing Bettered
The good people at BoingBoing have upgrade to Movable Type 4.0, and with that upgrade comes the return of comments. The new site has an improved look with better readability and (to my eye) fewer ads. In addition, they’ve hired Joel from Dethroner and Gizmodo fame to run BoingBoing Gadgets, a new sub-site focusing on personal electronics. Welcome improvements all around.
But nothing that changes ever improves without a few mistakes, not even BoingBoing. In order to bring back comments without feeling the pain of comment spam and interminable flame wars, BB has taken two steps. The first, and something I think we all wish we could do, is to hire Teresa Nielsen Hayden of Making Light to manage their comments. Great move. The second step was to require commenters to choose between being anonymous (cowards) or creating an account at BB. That’s right, one more account with a username and password to forget.
What’s sad is that there are at least two better options. The worse of the two is to set up TypeKey authentication. Yes, it’s another username and password, but at least it’s usable across multiple sites. I have a TypeKey account just to be able to comment at the Dooce.
The best solution, which Movable Type 4 supports, is OpenID. This open authentication system allows users to authenticate through a number of different methods (for instance, by having a free LiveJournal or Vox account), and MT’s support is very flexible.
So please BB, please open up a little. Don’t make me get a special account just to comment on your pages (okay, I already did, but still).