September 7th, 2005 by Jemaleddin Cole

I think it’s time to review the rules of post­ing on the inter­net for some of our younger view­ers. For those of you who didn’t live through the great Usenet Wars of the early 90’s, this should be very valu­able information.

1. Make sure to read each site’s Com­ment Policy.
2. Be aware that many sites don’t accept HTML in com­ments, but do allow Tex­tile For­mat­ting. This is one of them. I should prob­a­bly make a note of that some­where on the page…
3. Remem­ber that posts that insult the owner of a site or anyone he cares about will prob­a­bly just be deleted. Posts that insult while making a point will be care­fully con­sid­ered. Then deleted.
4. Keep in mind that the owner of any given site spends far more time main­tain­ing it than you do read­ing it, and will have far more time to figure out his response. Plus, if it doesn’t come out right, he can always go back and edit it. You can’t. So pick a fight with one of the other com­menters: they’re equally defenseless.
5. Com­ments posted anony­mously are taken just as seri­ously as mes­sages scrib­bled in pencil on a bath­room stall. Grow a pair and give your name. Hell, grow a big pair, and give your email address or URL. Oth­er­wise, don’t be shocked when your name is listed as Anony­mous Coward.
6. Stay on topic. Either address the point or go post on Slash­Dot. No, really - we’ll all be wait­ing to hear what you say. That’s where we go when we want to waste time read­ing off-​topic bullshit.
7. Don’t put quotes around some­thing if you aren’t quot­ing any­thing. People will look back to see what you were ref­er­enc­ing, see that you just felt like throw­ing some quotes around, and think you’re a dumbass.
8. Never forget that none of these rules apply in the least to the person main­tain­ing the site. Is that unfair? Well, you get what you pay for.
9. Don’t ever think you’re going to win a war of words with me. No, really. Ask around. I’ve been doing this longer than you, and I’ll win. But please keep trying: I need a good laugh. (Note: Except you, Dad.)

Oh, and if you’re some ditto-​head con­ser­v­a­tive, save us all some trou­ble: you’re wrong. If you really want proof, send me an email about what you’d like to talk about and we can see about giving you a shot at a debate: my name at this URL will work.

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